Harold: What the hell are you doing?! God! Kumar: Well, you were out cold, I figured if I started doing some gay shit you'd wake up. Kumar: Do you know what the hell we had to go through after you took the car? Harris: Yeah, it was a dick move on my part. Harold: Dude, where's my car? Kumar: Where's his car, dude? How was I supposed to know he'd fuck us over? Harold: You! You had to pick up a hitchhiker! Why?! Kumar: Dude, I thought Neil Patrick Harris was a stand up guy.
Harold: Did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car? Kumar: Yes. Harold: Dude, what's the deal with Neil Patrick Harris? Why is he so horny? Harris: Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry. Hurry up, dudes, hurry up! I'm losing wood. I'm gonna see if I can get some directions. The Doogie line always works on strippers. Come on, dudes, let's pick up some trim at a strip club. Harris: Yeah, I've been craving burgers, too-fur burgers. We've been craving these burgers all night. Harold: Huh? Harris: It's a fucking sausage fest in here, bros. Forget White Castle, let's go get some pussy. We've just been driving around looking for White Castle but we keep getting sidetracked. We've been having a pretty crazy, night, too. I was at this party earlier tonight and some guy hooked me up with this incredible "X"-next thing I know I'm being thrown out of a moving car.
#Harold and kumar go to white castle freakshow how to
Harold: Neil, you wouldn't happen to know how to get on the highway from here, would you? Harris: Dude, I don't even know where the fuck I am right now. Kumar: Yes! Yes! I knew you had it in you dude! Kumar: Are you saying what I think you're saying? Harold: We gotta go to White Castle. The feeling that comes over a man when he gets exactly what he desires. Kumar: What? A Hot Dog Heaven super chili cheese dog? Harold: No. You bring this filth in here? What is this shit?! Reilly: Secure the book! Palumbo: Book is secure. Stop resisting! We need back up now! He's got a gun! Tarik: That's not a gun, that's a book. Reilly: He's trying to break free! Get him! Tarik: Aw, shit. Martone: Hey! Jackson's trying to escape! Tarik: What are you talking about? I'm just sitting here.
Kumar: Harold: Hey Kumar! Kumar! Where are you-? Harold: Kumar! Still in jail, asshole! Come here! Kumar: Hey, what's that smell? Harold: What smell? Kumar. I figured I'd bust you out and we'd go get some burgers. Harold: Jesus Christ, what'd you do that for? Kumar: I'm fucking starving. Kumar: Rold? Is that you? Harold: Kumar? Kumar: Hey, are the cops still here? Harold: What the hell are you doing? Kumar: I just called and made up some story about a shooting in Millbrook Park. Kumar: What is that? Some fortune cookie? Harold: The universe tends to unfold as it should. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. I learned a long time ago that there's no sense gettin' all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. People have been messin' with me my whole life. I'm fat, black, can't dance, and I have 2 gay fathers. Harold: I don't understand how you can be so calm about all this. What'd you do? Tarik: I kept sayin': "I understand I'm under arrest. So he starts beatin' me with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months". Now, evidently, a black guy robbed a store in Newark. Wanna know what happened? Tarik: I was walkin' out of a Barnes and Noble, and the cop stops me. Those black mother won't get away with this, a'right?! So, falls to all y'all! Okay?! So you can suck my !ĭialogue Harold: So, what are you in here for? Tarik: For bein' black.
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